SCENE:  WRITING A MUSICAL

 

(This is just the song they sing)

 

 

CHICO:

 

ANYTHING ROO CAN DO,

I CAN DO BETTER

I CAN DO ANYTHING

BETTER THAN ROO

 

ROO:

 

No you can't

 

CHICO:

 

YES I CAN

 

ROO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

CHICO:

 

YES I CAN

 

ROO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

CHICO:

 

YES I CAN, YES I CAN

 

ANYTHING ROO CAN BE

I CAN BE GREATER

SOONER OR LATER

I'M GREATER THAN ROO

 

ROO:

 

NO YOU'RE NOT

 

CHICO:

 

YES I AM

 

ROO:

 

NO YOU'RE NOT

 

CHICO:

 

YES I AM

 

ROO:

 

NO YOU'RE NOT

 

CHICO:

 

YES I AM, YES I AM

 

I CAN WRITE A GOOD PLAY

PERFORM IT ON THE SAME DAY

 

ROO:

 

I CAN WRITE A MASTER

AND I'D WRITE IT FASTER

 

CHICO:

 

I CAN WRITE WITH PEN AND PAD

 

ROO:

 

AND ONLY WITH THAT?

 

(points out Chico's laptop)

 

CHICO:

 

YOU'RE SUCH A BRAT

 

ANY WORD YOU CAN RHYME,

I CAN RHYME BETTER

 

ROO:

 

I CAN RYHME ANY WORD BETTER THAN YOU

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU RANT

 

ROO:

 

YES I SCAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU PLANT

 

ROO:

 

YES I VAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU GRANT

 

ROO:

 

YES I PLAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO ... YOU ... "AUNT"

 

ROO:

 

ATTENTION SPAN!!!!!!!!!!!

 

CHICO:

 

How do you rhyme that good?

 

ROO:

 

I've got one of those dictionary things.

 

CHICO:

 

ANYTHING YOU CAN TYPE

I CAN TYPE FASTER

 

ROO:

 

I CAN TYPE ANYTHING FASTER THAN YOU

 

CHICO:

 

20 WORDS

 

ROO:

 

30 WORDS

 

CHICO:

 

40 WORDS

 

ROO:

 

50 WORDS

 

CHICO:

 

60 WORDS

 

ROO:

 

60 WORDS?  THAT'S ABSURD!

 

CHICO:

 

I ALSO WRITE THE LYRICS,

MINE ARE QUITE VAMPIRIC

 

ROO:

 

MINE WOULD BE SATIRIC

AND ALSO HEMISHPERIC

 

CHICO:

 

IN ANY GENRE I WRITE WELL

 

ROO:

 

EVEN SCI FI?

 

CHICO:

 

WELL, I'D HAVE TO TRY.

 

ANYTHING YOU CAN SPELL

I CAN SPELL BETTER

 

ROO:

 

I CAN SPELL ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

a n y t h i n g

 

now spell that better than me!

 

CHICO:

 

t h a t

 

ROO:

 

never mind

 

CHICO:

 

I COULD WIN A TONY

 

ROO:

 

IT WOULD BE A PHONEY

BE A PHONEY

 

CHICO:

 

NO, IT WOULDN'T BE FAKE

 

ROO:

 

THEN IT'D BE A MISTAKE

 

CHICO:

 

Look,

 

I CAN DO MOST ANYTHING!

 

ROO:

 

CAN YOU BAKE A PIE?

 

CHICO:

 

Well, no.

 

ROO:

 

I DON'T DARE TRY

 

CHICO:

 

ANY DANCE YOU CAN WRITE

I CAN WRITE STRANGER

 

ROO:

 

I CAN WRITE ANY DANCE STRANGER THAN YOU

 

(as the two sing, they hold strange poses)

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN

 

CHICO:

 

NO YOU CAN'T CAN'T CAN'T

 

ROO:

 

YES I CAN CAN CAN CAN

 

TOGETHER:

 

NO YOU CAN'T

YES I CAN