The Elf Hunt

 

A "Crowd Hoot" Story

 

By Thelma Mary Caroline

 

 

 

When Kyle arrived at work that morning, everything was abuzz.

 

Although they wouldn't officially clock in for another twelve minutes, everyone was scrambling around.  Cassandra and Hannah were pulling huge boxes out of the storage shed.  Charley was typing furiously at her keyboard.

 

"I can't get a lock!" she cried.

 

L J, who was sitting at Kyle's work station, replied calmly, I can't either.  He's moving quick.  But from the looks of it, he's by The Bay.  Probably A Street."

 

"Which street?"

 

"A Street."

 

"I know it's a street!  But which one!"  Her voice rose with panic.

 

"I know it's a dumb name, sweet heart, but I didn't come up with it.  One street north of B Street."

 

" ... Oh."

 

 "Kyle, get over here," Cassandra called.  "Have you ever seen one of these?"

 

She held up a weapon that was similar to a gun, but with a strange blue tip.

 

"It's a stun gun," she answered.

 

"No, it's a pun gun.  When you pull the trigger, it tells jokes."

 

"Hannah, shut up."

 

"Yeah, I did have training," Kyle added.

 

Charley pulled out some jogging outfits.  "This one should fit you."

 

A few moments later, everyone was changed.  Kyle couldn't comprehend it.  They looked so normal.

 

L J was wearing her normal jeans and a sweatshirt, minus her normal dress.  She still had a coffee cup hanging out of her kangaroo pocket, though.  But, Kyle supposed, she would look like a college student if she had a backpack.

 

She and Charley had the jogging suits, with matching sweatbands.

 

Hannah was wearing dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.  Was the dress code still in effect, even outside the Condo?  What happened in the summer, when blending in would mean shorts and t-shirts.

 

She smiled slightly at the thought of the others wearing spagetti straps.

 

But Cassandra still had on her "garden jacket," the cape with leaves and vines sewed on.

 

 

 

They parked on the curb on B Street.  Ford Taurus's were the most popular car, or so the Center figured, so that was what they drove.

 

"Do you know why the car is silver?" Charley asked.  She was fond of quizzing people.

 

"Uh, because it's the most popular car color?" Kyle answered.

 

"Yeah, no.  Because you don't have to wash it very often.  No one can tell that it's dirty.  Besides, not washing saves water and electricity.  And soap.  And other natural resources."

 

"All right, here's the plan.  Charley, you and Kyle jog down the A Street.  Me and Hannah will pretend to be students, and walk down B Street.  Cass -- you stay here and moniter the screens.  If he tried to bolt, walkie talkie us, okay?"

 

As they set off, she added, "Remember!  Be normal.  Blend in."

 

So they set off jogging, talking low, and keeping their eyes peeled for any signs of the elf.

 

Kyle could feel her heart racing.  She couldn't wait to see what a wild elf looked like.  All she'd ever seen were the ones at the Center, with neatly combed hair and matching cloths.  They looked like little kids, except for their pointy ears.

 

When they reached the bottom of the hill, they could see Hannah and L J standing there, talking.  L J had her hands folded across her chest, marking the spot.  The elf was in the bush behind her.

 

Continuing to talk loud as they jogged nearer, Kyle tried to make out what L J was saying.

 

"Oh man!  I can't believe I'm taking Advanced Theoritical Logic!  What was I thinking!  It's so hard!  I can hardly keep up with the professor!"

 

"Are you taking it with Heinburg or Hedelburgensis?"  Hannah asked.  "I took it with Heinburg, and the final is really easy.  It's one question, true or false.  I think it was something like, 'Theorecially, Prof. Heinburg is a good teacher.'  You don't even have to prove it or anything."

 

"So the answer's true?"

 

Hannah shrugged.  "Theorectically."

 

The four of them were surrounding the bush.  Slowly, L J turned, and then suddenly leaped into the plant.  Sure enough, a small child-like being flew out of the bushes, towards Kyle!

 

Kyle wrapped him in a big bear hug, though he fought against her as hard as he could.  He screamed at the top of his lung.

 

Charley got up, and went to talk to a few onlookers.  SHe would convince them that they were just babysitting and the kid didn't want to go home.  Oh, his ears?  She would whisper low -- his father kidnapped him as a child and that was an initiation into cult.  But it was best not to talk about it.

 

Suddenly the elf began screaming in English, "You're hurting me!  You're hurting me!"

 

That startled Kyle, and she acciedently loosened her grip.  The elf bolted.

 

"Oh my (*&^%@$ god!" L J cried, watching the elf run.  For a moment, her face scrunched up and turned red.  But then she pulled her talkie up near her mouth.  "Cass, are you getting a lock?"

 

"Yep, he's heading towards the Cave of the Everlasting Mourning of Ese," a voice crackled.

 

"All right.  We can corner him there.  Charley, you and Hannah take the southern route there.  I'll take the north, and take the secret entrance in the back.  We'll trap him."

 

"L J," Kyle said softly.

 

"You'll wait in the car, with Cass.  I won't have him running away again."

 

It seemed forever that she waited.  Finally the three of them returned, with a small, hooded sweatshirt wearing figure.  The elf.

 

L J said nothing to Kyle.  They just got in the car and left.