CAPTURED BY BIG GREEN SMELLY ALIENS

 

THE TRUTH COMES OUT

 

 

By Thelma Mary Caroline

 

 

 

She thinks she's so clever.  She thinks I don't realize her plan, having me help clean out the gutters while Haichell and Kade grocery shop.  She's got me cornered, and alone.

 

"I really appreciate your help," she says.  "Can't ever get Kade to do it."

 

"No problem.  I'm glad I can help.  Really."

 

"Tell me more about your job," she says.  Oh, she thinks she's clever.

 

"About fishing in Canada?  What about it?"

 

"What was the name of your boat?"

 

"The Not For Hire."

 

"And what was it like, really?"

 

Oh, she doesn't know that I've studied up on the subject.  "Eight weeks.  That was the season.  But fifty thousand dollars, who could turn that kind of money down?  Maybe that's not why I went, but who cares.  We all know I want to be a millionaire when I grow up."

 

Sheila nods.

 

"It's one of the most dangerous jobs in the world though, did you know that?  My shipmates were crushing fingers, breaking legs.  It seemed like every day someone tumbled over board.  I worked twenty one hours a day, and most people can't do that.  The get exhausted to the point of breakdown.  I'll still go back, though, if I get the chance."

 

She looks impressed at my knowledge.  "So you became a Canadian then?  Don't you have to be one to get a work permit?"

 

"It's easier just to marry a Canadian."

 

She raises an eyebrow at me.

 

"Yes, sir," I tell her.  "I'm married to a Canadian.  Can't remember her name, though.  Jane, or Joan.  Something that starts with a J.  Jan?"

 

"Not Haichelle?"

 

"Oh, Hai's not Canadian either.  But she knows French.  That's how she got a license."

 

"And the two of you met on the Not For Hire?  She doesn't really seem strong enough for that kind of work."

 

Uh huh.  "Yeah, she was the cook.  It's good to charm the girls that can fix meals."

 

"She doesn't -- You don't really seem like her type, you know."

 

Nothing really comes to mind to say -- well, that's not true.  I really want to say, "I realize that, but she deals with it," but Sheila definitly wouldn't appreciate it.

 

"So it was a mistake," I finally say.  "We're just trying to make it work out."

 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather tell me the truth?"

 

"You're going to feel really bad when the pictures come back and you find out I'm not lying."

 

There really are pictures too, of me and Hai together on a huge fishing boat.  Pictures of gruff looking men and me.  Pictures of me and large crab pots.

 

Photoshopped, but convincing.

 

"You know what really bothers me the most?" Sheila says.  "Not that you were gone six months.  Not that you won't tell anyone that you're back.  Not that you want me to keep it a secret that you're living in my house.  It bothers me the most that you have to lie about where you were!  Tell me the truth, is it really that bad?  Is that why you've put together this incredible story?  Is it that bad?"

 

"Let's face it, Sheila.  You'd never believe any story I gave you.  Even if it was the truth."

 

"No, I suppose not," she says curtly.

 

"Come with me and Kade and Hai to Thursday's tonight.  All of us (from the fishing boat) are going to be there.  You'll find your truth, I expect."

 

"And you won't hunt me down and kill me?"

 

"Hardly."  A bit of doubt nips at me.  "At least, I don't think so."